I came again tonight like a thousand times before but want to talk again of what our lives have become. Still the nights before sleep lying thinking how can I believe and accept I will never see our lovely wee lassie again. No words here can explain what thoughts go through our minds so many many times, those last days as she lay in hospital never knowing how much we cried for her to be well again. 5 years now and still at times just like yesterday, we have been without our lovely girl for all this time. I ask you to imagine how the loss of any of your precious sons or daughters would make you feel. To even imagine this disastrous situation is something incomprehensible and frightening. But this is how life can happen, one day all is well and these days we take so for granted, we once took life this way until that dreadfull phone call that never to be forgotten Saturday and then the hell of the following three days of wishing and yes saying a prayer. Now so many nights of living over and over every moment of those terrible days seeing our precious daughter lying there with monitors and tubes surrounding her. Holding her tiny hand so small and cold but always hoping she would come back to us once more. Alistair sitting by her side night and day refusing to leave his dear wife, still now as I write these words I have tears in my eyes with the hopelessness of it all. The days continue like always but never will we smile that genuine happy smile we once knew. Now the smile tries to hide the sadness that is a constant companion. The small video clip we were given from Alistair where Cheryl came into their holiday hotel room lies in her memory case, we do not have the courage to look at it although deep in our hearts we would love to see her once more, maybe one day we will look at it but the outcome needs no words of what it would do for us. Our beautiful girl is no more ,but she took a part of our hearts with her. Mum Dad and our precious son in law Aistair