How long does grief last, it has been five years past now and Mum Alistair and I just have to carry on with our lives. Many nights lying before sleep my thoughts are with my wee lassie. As the day approached for our first time at the cemetery I was in Motherwell to have a haircut, leaving the barber shop I crossed the road and the funeral parlour was just a few yards down the street. I had decided I could not go to see my girl I wanted to always see her in my memory as she always was the happy funny lovely child she was. But how could I pass by and not go to be beside her, so I walked into the parlour and the lady immediately said come through Ian,she showed me to where our lovely wee lassie lay.I have tears writing this but have to tell of how my memory haunts me so many many times. Cheryl was lying there and I took her hand hardly seeing her for my tears. She had on her favourite cardi we choose it to keep her warm, she was wearing her little flat shoes she had bought just a few weeks before. Her hand was cold and I gently said Dad's here. I had to turn away not believing this beautifull girl would never say Hi Dad again. I never spoke to the lady at the desk on leaving no words would come. I got to the car and thought how would Mum and I manage to carry on over the next few days knowing they would be the last time we would ever see our little girl. This is just how sleep can be so very difficult so many many nights. I believe our longing and tears will last our lifetime.