WHEN A HOME BECOMES A HOUSE.

2016 November 02

Created by IAN .(.DISILAIN ), ,ALISTAIR 7 years ago
Looking back through some of my journal I see the stories end with me saying goodbye or sleep gently to my wee lass Cheryl. Then at the very bottom it ends Mum and Dad xxx. How sad now as I read those posts that came from both Mum and I ,now everything is from me to my two loves of my life..How I have have managed these past few years  I truly do not know, doing all the things Mum  once did around the house washing ,cleaning and yet here I am. So everyone will just surmise you are coping well..But the reality is so different, so many times I just break down crying like a baby ,trying to understand what a terrible lonliness I feel so often. Dinner times are the hardest sitting alone thinking of my Marion talking to me of probably nothing important but being that caring and quiet lovely person I loved so dearly. I write all the time of how I feel and my situation not to tell of my sadness but to just empty my mind of the feelings and happy times I once had . I read my bible now  lol  no I have not become some holy holy but search for answers to coping on my own. Of finding  some reason to look forward to tomorrow . Maybe I will never find the answer but one thing is certain  God willing I have my snses with me on my final day my last thoughts will be of two of the gentlest souls that once were my love my life my family , Marion and Cheryl . 

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